Is It a Message or Sabotage?

Jan 27, 2022

The scene in my office earlier this week was ugly. I couldn’t hardly close the door or walk in front of my desk because of light stands and cords. 

I committed to recording a new mini course and my technology was doing everything it could to stop me!

First my recording software crashed. Next my microphone wasn’t being recognized. Then the speakers inexplicably stopped working. I finally got something recorded but couldn’t play it back – unrecognized format from the program that recorded it. 😫

And my final problem, some camera setting seemingly got changed and focus/lighting was going haywire…hence the three ring lights in the pic above. I threw ALL of my equipment at all these problems.

My dear husband, my faithful CTO, frustrated with trying to debug these problems over the phone said ‘just bring it all home and we’ll debug it tonight.’ I vehemently replied “NO, I’m not letting technology stop me.”

A year and a half ago, the story would’ve stopped here. I would’ve said ‘the universe must not want me to do it today,’ packed up my gear and headed home. 

But what I didn’t realize then, that I realize now is this: it’s not the universe sabotaging my equipment, it’s my energy! 

I can now say with clarity it’s fear of stepping into something great. Something that will change lives. Seems a bit scary, honestly, to that small part of me that would rather curl up with a book and a warm cat on the couch! 

I realized this wasn’t a sign that I should stop, but a sign that I should KEEP GOING! That what I was doing had stakes big enough to change lives, to make a real difference. 

So back to my story, what did I do? I stopped my struggling, looked in the camera at myself, mustered my determination, of which I am blessed to have plenty, and affirmed to myself (out loud) “I will not be stopped. I am not leaving until I have these videos recorded, even if I had to go outside and use my cell phone.”

Well, the prospect of filming outside in the 30 degree weather must’ve managed to shift it, because I finally got it working, albeit with wacky lighting. 🤣

Imperfect action will move me forward. I also kept repeating this affirmation. I read this each and every day to remind me my actions don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be good enough. It soothes my perfectionist nature! Poor lighting, maybe a word stumble or two…I can always record again later.

Well, I got the videos recorded with quite a struggle, but I did it. I was committed, took action, and made it happen.

And now, I have a free mini class to show for it – be on the lookout, I’ll try to get it live soon!

So how do we know what is a message and what is sabotage? I get asked this question a lot in my practice. And I get it, it’s not always clear. Plus, I have to admit, it’s sometimes tempting to hand over responsibility, to feel like a victim of something else…

The key part of this equation is knowing we have free will, free choice to do what we feel is best. Claiming our power of creation.

Why would spirit not want me to create this course? (They would!). Why would spirit want me to delay getting life changing information out into the world? (They wouldn’t.) The only thing that would cause a delay is me: not claiming my power, saying I can’t make it happen.

What are you not standing up for, that you would like to make happen in your life? What excuses might you be making to not push through some difficulty to get there?

I invite you to consider how you can take charge, take power, and make your desires happen. Rather than letting fear or insecurity stop you. You deserve to share your gifts, to live a life free of pain, to use your power to create the life you want. Let’s do it together! 💪

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