What It Really Means to Put Yourself First (And Why Your Health Depends on It)

If you’ve ever felt selfish, guilty, or anxious for taking time for yourself, this is for you.

Let’s start with a quick pop quiz. Don’t overthink it, just be open and notice what comes up.

A Quick Check-In

1. When I put myself first or take time just for me, I feel:
Selfish • Nourished • Guilty • Anxious • Fulfilled • Something else

2. In the first 1–2 hours after waking, I usually focus on:
Kids • Pets • Work • The house • Meal prep for others • Everyone else’s needs • My needs

3. Where do my needs fall on the priority ladder in my mind?
First • Last • Somewhere in the middle

If you answered honestly and your needs are the lowest priority, you are not alone.

Why Putting Yourself First Feels So Hard

Most people who end up dealing with chronic health issues have a long history of not prioritizing themselves. This isn’t a character flaw, it's a programmed response pattern. 

In my work with clients, this is one of the most common energetic and physiological blocks to healing. I can speak from experience, because I was last on my list for years and know first hand how deterimental to our health this can be.

Often, these are people who:

• Are caregivers, parents or partners who carry a lot of responsibility

• Identify as helpers, healers or “the responsible one”

• Have personalities that lean toward service, reliability and self-sacrifice

• Fall into what Traditional Chinese Medicine would call an Earth element pattern: deeply nurturing, deeply giving and often deeply depleted

Over time, this pattern quietly trains your nervous system to believe that your needs are optional. 

And your body eventually pushes back.

The Oxygen Mask Truth (That We Still Resist)

You’ve heard this before, but it bears repeating because we still try to override it.

If you don’t put your oxygen mask on first, you will crash. Then no one gets oxygen.

Putting yourself first is not:

• Selfish

• Overindulgent

• Taking resources away from others

• Neglecting your family

Those are false stories. Not a little false...completely 100% false.

In reality, not meeting your own needs eventually leads to:

• Burnout

• Chronic fatigue

• Autoimmune flares

• Gut issues

• Hormonal dysregulation

• Emotional resentment (even when you love your family deeply)

Your body keeps score.

“But You Don’t Understand My Life…”

I get that and I've lived it. It is often the current reality in our lives.

You may have:

• A high-needs child (or children)

• A demanding partner

• Complex medical needs in the family

• Special diets to manage

• A never-ending list of daily responsibilities

So let’s make a deal.

Not a big one. Not a life overhaul.

Just one small, doable experiment.

The 5-Minute Reset That Changes Everything

For the next month, find just five minutes that are only for you. Perhaps when you first wake or right before going to sleep.

Five minutes. That’s it.

Here are a few simple options, choose one that feels accessible:

• Make a cup of tea and sip it quietly while listening to the birds (phone off)

• Lock the bathroom door, sit down and breathe (moms—this one counts)

• Journal for five minutes without thinking. Just let the words spill out without editing

• Deep breathing or other mindfulness practice where your mind is quiet but awake.

No optimizing. No performing. No doing it “right.”

Just you.

Set Yourself Up to Succeed

This part matters more than people realize.

Tell your family that for five minutes you are only to be interrupted for blood or fire.

Ask for your partner’s support. Not permission, support.

We can all find five minutes somewhere if we are willing to make ourselves a priority.

What Happens When You Do This Consistently

If you make yourself a priority for just five minutes a day for one month, I can confidently say this:

• Your mind will work differently

• Your nervous system will feel safer

• It will become easier to advocate for your needs

• You will notice less internal resistance when choosing yourself

This isn’t willpower. It’s biology and energy responding to consistent signals of self-priority.

The universe loves action, not intention alone.

And this is inspired action.

Try It. And Tell Me What Shifts

Take this small step and notice what changes in your body, your mood and your day.

And if five minutes truly feels impossible right now, don’t struggle alone.

Hit reply and let’s connect. I can help you find a way in that works for your life.

Because you are worth it.

Your health is worth it.

And the people you care for benefit most when you are well.