Frustrated When a Plan Goes Awry?Apr 06, 2022
I was sleeping so soundly after getting to bed late. I suddenly heard the pitter patter of feet running down the stairs and before I knew it, a 5-year-old had lunged into my bed. The clock said 3:45am. I immediately told him to go back to sleep, it was way too early to get up. But the writhing, unable to stay still kid just couldn’t get back to sleep. And when my alarm went off at 5:30am, I hadn’t had a wink more sleep.
How do you feel when something like this happens? Frustrated? Happy to have company? Irritable? Eager to see how you can make the best of it? Exhausted?
I’ve learned one important lesson in my 17 years of parenting and it’s this: you cannot make kids sleep. For any new parents out there, you also cannot make them eat or go to the bathroom, for bonus advice LOL.
Type A. In control. Has it all together.
These are some of the positive ways to describe us folks who like to be on top of things. And while these are mostly seen as positive traits, did you know there is a dark side?
What happens when your day turns upside down and you can’t follow the plan? Perhaps a flat tire or a sick kid or the cat licks the icing off your beautiful cake for your kid’s birthday…
How do you respond?
Does it cause you to feel stressed or do you just take it in stride, make the best of it, and find the next best solution?
If you feel stressed, there’s a reason, and it’s good for your health to explore it…and to work with it.
If you’ve done sessions with me, you’ve probably heard control is rooted in fear. We don’t need to control things if we’re not afraid of something. Maybe of failure or being late or not being respected or not loved, just for starters.
If you’re needing to be on top of your day, having all the details figured out, ask yourself this: what is powering that drive within you?
Fear of not enough time? Fear of forgetting something? Fear of not being ‘good enough’ in your eyes or someone else’s?
The problem with fear and anxiety that fuels the need for control is it creates inflexibility. Rigidity. And an energy of holding, clamping down, restriction. It also is a primary energy of resistance: resistance to healing, to movement, to change.
If you tend toward constipation, your body is already feeling this restriction.
When we go with the flow, we are more resilient. We ride the waves of life rather than have them batter us against the sea wall. It is much harder to stand rigid and not go down in the ocean than riding on top of the waves and being fluid.
This is exactly the point with control.
So, how can you add a little surrender, a little go-with-the-flow into your day?
Allow your day to unfold where appropriate. When things don’t go according to plan, consider it an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone and approach it from a different angle. Look for opportunities to break out of daily habits and ‘shake it up.’ These are all great ways to start nurturing surrender and a free-flowing metal element.
If you don’t take steps to start releasing control, the universe will do it for you…by forcing you to give up control so you go with the flow. It’s your choice which path you choose!
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